Monthly Archives: August 2012

What to do?

Long time no talk again. Ok I didn’t leave everyone hanging as long this time. Did I mention I have to wait til Sept 17th for my damn MRI and that it feels like it is light years away. Like some star date in Capt. Kirk’s log. I have called and fought with my doctor and with the hospital to get on a cancellation list and asked for referral numbers to get into other MRI clinics. These are the days when you look at your taxes off your pay and our health care and say bad 4 letter words. Go head if you are as foul as me insert a few right here _____. I really want to but I am afraid I will offend at least one person who has no bearing on my future but they will complain anyways.

In the mean time I managed to finish my Rebreather Cross over to my new rebreather for scuba diving and managed some deeper dives up in Tobermory with good friends. And a nice long River dive that had me under water for 161 mins straight before surfacing. These other hobbies have held me at bay for now. But I am really starting to fester about things. We had a Brilliant Pub run on Saturday with the Up & Running crew. I drove around and took pictures for everyone because I still can’t run. It was great to be out and be social with everyone and see everyone having so much fun and I was able to provide pictures for follow up incase a few people I know do not recall the night. Some of them may have ended up at a pizza place later speaking in loud foul voices while giggling and acting like kids. Kudos to them I say. I do have to say that deep down inside it was a bit painful to watch everyone run while not be part of it. I never thought I would say this but I truly miss running. I miss helping Stef along the store with the run clinics, they have done a great job making me still feel like a part of it. However after helping with so many and being sidelined this entire clinic and probably most of the next clinic, it is really getting to me.

Patience is a virtue my @SS. I keep saying that you have to adjust targets and life gets in the way and all of that is true. But DAMN I have not patience. I do not want to wait til Sept for the MRI and then knows how long until surgery or recovery or whatever has to happen.

I find myself looking at new running shoes and not being excited, not picking up my copies of runners world, not doing anything. Today I did manage to get out and put just shy of 70km on my bike today and 30+ km of fairly hard riding thanks to my training partner. This is the first time I feel like I have worked in a while. The up and down side is I feel great, I feel refreshed, I feel tired from finally working hard. I find myself on websites dreaming of a new triathlon bike not that I can afford one or I am going to buy a new one. But more of dreaming I will still need one. I am also looking at Half Ironman races for next year and with hope, I am looking at what will be my race for next year? But that nagging question pops into my head.

Will I even be able to do it? Is it just some pipe dream that will will never happen? I know I know if you are reading this right now you are all saying Damn right you are going to do this. I know you and I know you can do this. There has to be one heckler out there that is saying “You silly short dude you were never built to do this” However I think that guy is in the back of my head. I am glad I rarely listen to him anymore, but I hear it more often right now.

More so I just wish I could go out and run to deal with my stress. I never realized that running could be so therapeutic back when I was eating chips and dip and thought that worked. The less I ate chips and dip the less I missed them. The less I run, the more I miss it and what it does for me. I have found yoga in the mean time and it is helping with stretching and helping me a little bit on the mental side. Damn yoga is a work out too and requires muscles I didn’t know I had. It isn’t the same as running but it is helping me by keeping me active and mentally focused.

If you ran this weekend. HoldĀ  your head high, you have done something not many others do and you have improved your physical and mental health. When you have a bad run next time, remember this. You are capable of running and even a bad run is a good run if you get it done. Because right now I would be happy having the worst run of my life tonight. I would be happy sweating, aching, sore, upset stomach feeling like you want to puke run.

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