Ok I actually wrote this a few months back and never posted it. A lot of stuff has gone on and I can say that after knee surgery I was and have been on an emotional roller coaster and probably depressed with a few things. But part of that is allowing yourself to get there and not controlling yourself. It was affecting my job, personal life and some people around me I am sure. I don’t believe I will make a return back to any long distance running this season, I will limit myself to some 5k runs and sprint triathlons but I am able to be back at it and so far pain free. Anyway more updates to some here is a post I wrote about why I run. I read it to myself and with clinics coming up, I realized that I need to read some of the stuff I write once in a while, because it isn’t actually too bad of stuff to read.
Why do I run?
I just had a recent opportunity to sit down and really think about this and think about, why do I run? Or lately more so about the lack of running I have been doing with my knee injury. Ya ya ya, you are sick of hearing about this knee of mine. Well so am I frankly, sick of living with it too. But alas I finally have a surgery date and glad that it was finally booked. Booked for Dec 21 this year. 4-5 holes in my knee with some of the meniscus that will be cut off the posterior side, along with bone fragment removed. And then a buckle tear that will be repaired on the Anterior side of my knee. I have researched this enough in the last little while that I was tempted to do my own surgery. I hear that I can be very impatient at times, at least that is what some people tell me.
Ok I digress as usual. I was recently questioned a couple times about why I run and about my first 5km race and my fastest 5km race time and the circumstances made me realize I should put running in its real perspective and how the majority of the people I run with see it. First of all lets start off with my first 5km race it was 33:something something something.. Who cares what it was?? I ran with a friend that was in a “Learn to run clinic”. The first run clinic that I helped with in 2010 and I had never personally raced a 5k run before. You see I started running as a goal to get healthy, loose weight or was it lose weight? (Go ahead laugh you know who you are, Engineers can’t spell) I also needed running to achieve a bigger goal of doing my first triathlon. My time was based on the girl I was running with it was her first race and I was there to help her get through it. So you see my first 5km race wasn’t even about me and my own achievement. I paid my entry fee and I ran my first race to support someone else. Yes she swore a few times while running yes we stopped and walked a couple of times and yes I made her start running again. So you see my very first 5k race was not even my time. You know why. My race times are not important to me in the big picture.
Race times are personal goals you set for yourself for unselfish reasons. They are there to monitor your own improvement and your own gains in your health. Running is competitive to you and not to others. The running community is supportive of one and other no matter what your time is. I gained so much more helping someone get to the end of their race rather then trying to beat anyone’s time. You can’t not replace that feeling even with the feeling I had on my fastest 5km run. By the way I felt on the verge of puking and massive side stitch pain. Crossing a finish line and telling someone you beat them in their run time is not something I have ever heard at a race since I started in 2010. Because run times are personal.
I run to get healthy, maintain health, help others achieve what they thought were impossible goals. I run to get out my front door and leave work and the world behind. I run to get in that zone where music pumps in your ears and your feet hit the ground in a fluid motion and every step removes another ounce of stress from my body. I make the fear, anger, and stress, anxiety leave my brain and I sink into the lazyboy section of my brain and shut off the rest of the world. It helps me escape in a way that no other legal option could. Come on you were thinking it too.
This brings me to my fastest time. I have yet to set my fastest time for various reasons. I have seen improvements in my triathlon sports and I continue to see them. So my fastest time today is not going to be my fastest time tomorrow. I will come back from my knee, recover and I will beat my previous times, I will also reach a point where improvements will be far and few between unless I dedicate my life to these sports and that isn’t going to happen. I like to live life a little too. I like beer, scuba diving, helping others and taking on other challenges. In the end only I look at my times and care about them. I run with people much faster then me and I run with people much slower then me. Fast and slow is only relative toyou if you are concerned about it. It does not solely represent who I am when I run.
I run because I can and because I can help others. I run because running has taught me more about life then I could ever imagine. I learn from running because I allow myself to learn from my life experiences. Mostly I run because my training partner says “It Builds Character” I personally think she has been lying to me all these years but I still keep falling for it.
What ever the reason make sure you run for you. Run for yourself. If you are no, Than you are just wasting your time and missing out on a real opportunity of what running can provide you in your life.